Good afternoon. When I was asked if I would be willing to speak today, I had some contradicting emotions. My first thought and reaction was, “NO WAY”. I try to be a tough guy and I have to be that way given some of the things I am involved in. But obviously with the unfortunate and heart-breaking news of Kyle's passing, I was an emotional wreck, a blubbering mess, and in complete and utter disbelief just like everybody else. I thought there is no way I could stand in front of people that know and love Kyle and speak at his funeral. But I imagined Kyle standing behind me, giving a good old spank and saying “you got this coach”. My next reaction was, “I would be honored”. To be able to speak about him, to remember him, and to celebrate him is truly an honor. I have had the honor and privilege of being Kyle's teacher, and coach in both football and wrestling. I have had the privilege of watching him over the last several years grow from a… freshmen Kyle to a… Senior Kyle. To grow so close to this wonderful young man, through countless hours and time together and to gain a love for him has been a true blessing.

Now, for the past week I have been pondering, contemplating, tossing and turning about how I can best speak about Kyle. I want to be able to do my best, because Kyle deserves the best. I want to be able to convey a message that best embodies all of the wonderful characteristics of Kyle, and at the same time celebrate his wonderful life that ended with him giving so much to others. So after this week of worrying and praying and feeling sick to my stomach to make sure that this is done right; I have concluded one guaranteed truth… When I see Kyle again one day… I am going to kick his butt. I might hug him first, but I am definitely going to kick his butt.

So, Cheryl and Paul, thank you for this opportunity. It is an honor to speak about your son. As I mentioned before, I would like to celebrate the wonderful life of Kyle and by doing that I would like to recognize all of you who have played a role, big or small, direct or indirect, in his life, because you all matter.

The first group of influence I want to recognize is his friends. During a teenager's life, there is probably not many things that are important than friends. During the course of a day, a teenager is with friends probably more than they are with their own family, and I am pretty sure Kyle was no different. There are several different categories of friends, and given that Kyle was a handsome, strong, fearless young buck that was accomplished athletically, and pretty well known, the first category of friends that I think is worth recognizing on Kyle's behalf is the girls. To all of ladies, thank you for helping Kyle learn and experience how to treat girls, gain confidence, and have a good time. A few years ago, our wrestling team travelled to Las Vegas for a tournament and as usual Kyle was in to having a good time. With his teammates, a challenge was created. If Kyle lost to his next opponent, he would have to go over and talk to his opponent's girlfriend! Well Kyle lost, and sure enough, he fearlessly went and pretty much hit on that girl right in front of the boy who just beat him. I don't think anything happened from it but he definitely wasn't shy when it came to the ladies. So, to those of you ladies that were in his life in some way like his first kiss, a girl he flirted with or had a crush on, or his date to a dance or his girlfriend no matter how long you were together, thank you for putting a smile on Kyle's face. Whichever girl you were, you were important to Kyle, you played a role in his life and you mattered. A year ago or so, I noticed Kyle was distracted; he ended up in my classroom where we got to talking. It came out that it was a girl, which is usually the case for a teenage boy. He really liked this girl and you could tell, but he was confused. He wanted to know if all girls were like this or like that, and all I could do was laugh and tell him, “some girls are like that, some more than others, and all you need to do is get used to it!” The look of disbelief on Kyle's face was priceless! But you knew Kyle did things relatively right when it came to the ladies. The amount of beautiful young ladies that came to the hospital to be with Kyle and say their goodbyes was impressive. Again, thank you, you were all important to Kyle, you played an important role, and you mattered.

The next group of friends are those that are his childhood friends, his buddies, and his teammates. To all of you, thank you for giving fun, funny, and entertaining experiences to Kyle. Thank you for helping him learn and experience skills as a leader, a captain, and a pal. One time during wrestling this past year, I was watching Kyle drill with his brother Ben. Kyle started getting frustrated and you could tell. Kyle finally reached his limit, and he burst out and proceeded to give a verbal beat down to his teammates and his brother about their work ethic. His words were very choice and extremely sharp, but believe it or not, it worked. Everybody in the room stopped goofing around for fear Kyle would put a beating on them. Ben and Kyle didn't say anything to each other. They went back to “drilling” in only a way brothers would when they were both heated, which was really just a controlled fight! I'm sure that is how it was for these two growing up. As a coach, I was proud of Kyle for being a leader, but it also showed me that his friends and teammates respected him. They were willing to do what their friend and captain asked them to do. Of course I have another story about Kyle involving his friends… Again in Las Vegas his friends had a new challenge for Kyle. This time Kyle was to go out in the middle of the convention center on the mat all by himself in front of a ton of people. Kyle was wearing his wrestling singlet backwards, with an extra set of head gear on his head and proceeded to wrestle himself. He put on a show for everybody. Of course the match ended in himself pinning himself if that makes sense. It was hilarious. All you could do was shake your head because that is what Kyle did. I know there are countless experiences that Kyle had with his friends, from his buddies in elementary school, scouts, and church when he was young, to his pals on the football field, baseball diamond and wrestling mats, to his classmates. So many of you have posted your memories, videos, photos, and wonderful experiences with Kyle on social media, thank you for remembering him. You were all important to Kyle, you all played a role in his life and you all mattered.

To the next group of people I would like to recognize on behalf of Kyle; his teachers, coaches, mentors, church leaders, friends of the family, parents of his friends and any other non-family member that loved and cared for him and had some impact no matter how small or big. Thank you for helping to teach, grow, and shine a light on the path that raised a young child in to the goofy, caring, and adventurous person Kyle became. You could tell Kyle had wonderful role models in his life and he cared about them and was grateful for them. He seemed to always be comfortable around adults. I have seen him talking and laughing with many of you. Kyle was not timid about his relationships with adults. A few weeks ago, I was in the middle of one of my first practices of spring football. I'm giving one of my speeches to the team, and Kyle with Ben strolled out on to the field. He didn't seem to mind that I was in the middle of a speech. He walked all the way behind me, and proceeded to do this bizarre hug he did to me often. He would hug me by putting his hand under my belly, like I am pregnant, and place his chin on my shoulder, and whisper in my ear, “I dominate you.” That is just my own experience, but I am sure Kyle had many other experiences with his other teachers and coaches, church leaders, and other parents that are special and unique to him. I know that Kyle had a great love for the parents of his best friends, thank you for those experiences and your care for him. Thank you for all you did, you played an important role in his life and you mattered. To Kyle's extended family members, his grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins, on behalf of those of us that are not members of his family, we thank you for your role in Kyle's life and for helping to shape the young man that we were blessed to know. I can't speak to your experiences, your knowledge, and your love for your wonderful Kyle. Most of our time with him in this life was just a small amount compared to yours. I am sure you have stories from changing Kyle's diapers, to family reunions and holiday get-togethers, from family vacations, to getting together to watch him play youth sports, make over 100 tackles on the varsity football field or placing in the state championships in wrestling and talking about it during Sunday dinner. I can honestly say that all of us that loved Kyle will forever feel a connection with your family. And I know that those that were recipients of Kyle's organs will also have that eternal connection with your family as well. So because of the wonderful generosity of Kyle and the person he was, your family just got much bigger… and it will stay that way as long as you don't give pregnancy style hugs or whisper in peoples ears! Thank you for your love and support and everything you did, you played an important role in his life, and you mattered.

To Kyle's siblings; I know that this is a very tough time. Your connection to your brother is special, unique, and eternal. Anybody who knew Kyle could tell what kind of brother he truly was. Always remember those wonderful times. During this last Christmas Kyle stopped by my house to drop off a plate of Christmas cookies. Kyle decided to jump on my roof and put them up there. He wanted my son to go find them. So we had to get a ladder, so my 7 year old could climb on the roof to find the cookies. Kyle enjoyed that! It just made me realize what kind of playful brother he was to all of you. You must have some really great stories that I am sure your kids one day would love to hear about their uncle Kyle. He always had a way with children, and that was a testament to how he cared for his brothers and sisters. Again, remember his kindness, and how playful he was and find ways to be kind and playful. You will bless so many lives just like Kyle did. You played an important role in Kyle's life and you mattered. Ben and Waylon, I promise you will be able to wear number 40, and I am confident you will wear that jersey well. Kyle always did run a little funny, so with a little hard work and commitment and you should be able to make him proud.

To Kyle's parents; to this point in my talk, I have had plenty to say about how Kyle was funny, kind, caring, adventurous and brave, how he was an example, and a leader. You have seen the support and love that your son has earned through his many experiences and relationships. All of this is a testament to you. Kyle is your son, he is your product and you should be so proud. What is truly incredible is the selfless act of kindness Kyle did by registering last December to become an organ donor. He might have been only 18, but that was the decision of a man, a man that truly understood the importance of life and sacrifice. You have shared with me, that Kyle has given 5 life-saving organs. I know that specifics of those that have had their lives saved can't be shared, but there are both men and women that have been saved. To be honest, I wasn't surprised to hear that he had some organs that were compatible with some women. I always knew that Kyle had a little female in him! In all seriousness I know that those women are eternally grateful as are the men that they will continue to live on because of Kyle. There were roughly another 70 other people that have been blessed by receiving other donations from Kyle. We know that Kyle was diabetic, so his pancreas was donated to research for juvenile diabetes. I'm afraid that all they will find in his pancreas is candy. Kyle's freshmen year he qualified for the state championships. During his first match Kyle had to wrestle a senior that was ranked and supposed to beat Kyle. Kyle showed how tough he really was and was beating this senior. Then all of a sudden, Kyle stopped the match, came over to me and said his blood sugars were off and he needed candy ASAP! So I asked where his stash of candy was and he pointed to the top row of the arena. So, he and I both waived and screamed up to the top where his teammates were until they began throwing Smarties down on to the mat. Kyle shoved a bunch of candy in his mouth, recuperated while we picked up tons of smarties off the mat, and proceeded to go out and finish the beating of that senior that he started. Your son was tough! I can only imagine the feeling of losing a child, but wow what a wonderful person he became. Thank you for the man you raised. We love you for this. Thank you for the most important role you played, you mattered most.

Last week when we were at the hospital, Fide said to me, “I know that God has a plan for us all, but why Kyle, why now”? Fide, God does have a plan for us all. All of us walk a path in that plan. The path is unique to each person. That path is influenced by those that we interact with, those that teach us, those that influence us, those that we build memories and experiences with. That path is also affected by the choices we make. Kyle had his path and it was a beautiful path. Everybody in his path had an important role and everybody in his path mattered. You and Sheldon especially were no exceptions. You both played an important role in that plan and you both mattered. One of the glorious gifts we have in this life is the power to choose. We make choices every day. Kyle made his own choices all the time. He chose to be your friend. Kyle chose to do the things that he did. Kyle chose to be kind, goofy, adventurous, tough, and selfless like becoming an organ donor. I believe that Kyle has chosen to do things beyond this life. He might be up there right now, challenging everybody to a wrestling match! So you ask, why Kyle, why now? Between Kyle's power to choose and God's plan for each of us, there is an answer in there somewhere. We won't know the specific reason right now, but we will one day. So it isn't goodbye, it is simply see you later.

I know that with God's plan, we will all be together again one day, and that is a reason to celebrate. God has a plan for each of us, just like he has a plan for Kyle. May we make those good choices that bless the lives of those around us like Kyle did. In the bible, Ephesians 4:32 it says, “…be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, and forgiving…” I know that Kyle exemplified each of these traits, so on behalf of Kyle, may we try to be the same, kind, tenderhearted and forgiving. I testify that if we follow that example we will play an important role in grand scheme of God's plan and matter in the lives of others, I humbly leave with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

- B. Travis Miller, 5/13/17

Like Kyle, his family is tough and strong.

They are here today, having gone the whole gamut of nearly every emotion in the last 2 weeks. From Kyle's tragic accident and loss of life to Kyle's sister Kaytlinn going down into the valley of the shadow of death, as every mother does, bringing forth new life. Kyle's first niece, Hazel Anne Hewitt was born Thursday morning. I know that Kyle and Hazel had a good long talk before she entered this earthly realm. I'm also pretty sure Kyle teased her about frogs and snails and puppy dog tails and told her how she would love her family. I feel sure if Hazel could talk she would say Kyle is flooding this room with his feelings of joy and peace, and his love and genuine caring for all!

Kyle Michael Flake was born September 5, 1998.

He was a perfect beautiful angelic little round faced replica of a sumo wrestler.

Kyle from the beginning loved his family! His brother Ben remembers when they were young, he played cars and tag and swam with me. Kyle helped Ben learn to ride a bike and then they would go on long bike rides together. They'd go over to the park with Colin and build ramps. Ben said the Best thing was he was always there for me and gave me some tips on girls!

Kyle and his cousins Porter and Trey got up on the roof one night after a dunking contest at Grandpa's house. Grandpa heard them and came out and hollered. Trey said, Kyle stepped up and took the heat, it was nice having him there.

Every summer there is a big Flake reunion in Snowflake. A family rodeo is part of the festivities. The cousins looked forward to it every year. One of the events is calf riding. Kyle loved this event and rode those young calves every year. However a couple of years ago, they didn't have many small calves; they were all quite big. Kyle was first to ride a big one, everyone watched as he was tossed and bucked he rode it for about 6 seconds, then one by one each of the others dropped from sight. That year only Kyle rode the “calves.” He was Brave.

In our family we coined a term called Cousin Power. We had a sign, a shirt, a designated room at Grandma and Grandpa's. When Kyle was about 15 he came to the house with his friend and asked “can I show him the Cousin Power room?” The room had a border of cousin hand prints, but most of all it held memories of sleep overs, games, and lots of cousin talks. As Kyle grew, his magnanimous character was shaped by acts of selfless service and enduring, from his Mom and Dad.

His Mother, taking her little ones, spent countless hours at friends houses, helping and serving. She was always the first to clean up after family gatherings. Mom participated in fundraising for cancer and diabetes, she volunteered with the Combs Booster Club.

His Father also exemplified selfless service. Dad always stopped whatever he was doing to help others. He spent lots of time playing, rolling on the ground & giving piggyback rides, even taking them to work when he could. He spent many nights at the Little League Field coaching, & organizing.

These examples of service and caring were ingrained in Kyle's heart and he possessed that same strong desire to serve those around him.

His family has named his philosophy of life, the Kyle Therapy.

Clearly, one of the hardest trials in Kyle's life was his diabetes. It came at a very difficult time in his young life. He was handed that lifetime sentence at the age of 9. It was loathsome to have to check his sugars and take a shot everyday! He wanted to be the one giving help and support! Like everything else in his life, he turned it around. He took every occasion to allow others to serve him by giving him his insulin injections. He blocked out his discomfort and focused on his ability to provide humor. He would lighten up his surroundings by offering to let MaKenzie (and I'm sure many others) give him his insulin shot, then he would scream in pain. Or he'd also act like he was going to give them a shot (but without a needle). It worked! He got a lot of reactions!! Especially from cute girls!!! He was such a jokester.

For one so young, Kyle had a rare understanding of the “happiness that lasts.” His ability to give to others, think of others first and genuinely care for all, are a true legacy. His legacy and its effects will reach far into eternity through those he touched. This is the Kyle Therapy.

Kyle knew how to draw in those around him. The poet Edwin Markham, wrote this poem, which I feel exemplifies the things I heard his family and friends say as we gathered round and talked.

He drew a circle that shut me out-

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But love and I had the wit to win:

We drew a circle and took him in

Just to make it clearer, “He” in the poem refers to the world, “I” refers to Kyle and “We” refers to Love and Kyle. Let me read it one more time.

He drew a circle that shut me out-

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But love and I had the wit to win:

We drew a circle and took him in

The circle that draws us in, is the Kyle Therapy.

The following are just a few examples:

• Kyle played basketball with his cousin Jonathan Flake and loved being his Special Olympics Basketball partner. Kyle was caring and fun!
• A fellow football player was feeling alone: He said “Kyle saved a place for me on the bench at football.” He was compassionate.
• From another was said “On my first day at school, Kyle said Hi and invited me to sit at his table at lunch”.
• Joshua forgot to bring a blanket to football camp in Show Low, the nights were cold, after trying to find a place to get warm, Kyle cuddled with him so he could get some sleep.
  Joshua also said During wrestling season they would sit at the computer to just look at pictures of big juicy burgers, thick steaks and all kinds of yummy food. They were starving and couldn't eat anything: they had to make weight. Kyle was brotherly.
• From Justis: During weight training, Kyle got into the moment. He'd pace, jump, yell, then push a lot of weight. Kyle always pushes me to do better. Justis said,”I am bigger than Kyle but he could lift more than me.” Kyle was strong and tenacious, a competitor.
• One friend remembers: I met Kyle at my 15th birthday party and we just instantly connected. My friend had a tandem bike and we decided to ride it! He started riding in the front because I'm not the best at riding bikes but at some point Kyle convinced me to ride the front. I lost control and, not wanting to hit a car, I hit the curb and we fell and got scraped up. It was great laughs. Kyle was a good sport and he didn't embarrass me or anything!” Kyle was Kind.
• William remembers playing with the airsoft guns. They finished and were just messing around. Kyle put the gun just under William's eye and pulled the trigger. OOOps!!! It had one BB left and caused a little blood. Kyle said, “Your Mom is going to kill me, here, wear these glasses so she won't see.” William walked in the house and Mom said “UHHH, William, take off those glasses.” And yep, she read Kyle the riot act!!! Kyle was resourceful.
• Wesley was new on the baseball team and Kyle said, “Come out on the field and let's lay in the grass.” They just talked and talked.

• Keegan said in the 5th grade, he, Kyle and Ben made Lemonade to sell, but they didn't have any paper cups. So Kyle went in and got his Mom's glasses. As they were used, Kyle sent Ben in to wash them, repeating the process every time. When Mom saw what was going on ….well… they stopped. Kyle was a Leader.
• Kyla, a manager for the baseball team, said Kyle would get so mad at himself for striking out; he'd come in and throw his helmet against the fence. He would always apologize. Kyle was thoughtful!
• Alicia said, I love to watch him wrestle. He would destroy his opponent on the mat, then turn with a big smile and help him up. Kyle was a classy competitor.
• Kyle had several guardian diabetes angels. Because he knew he was pretty reckless at times, he made a backup plan. Everyone loved to help him! During football he enlisted Natalie, who always had smarties for him. During wrestling, he never worried about his insulin shots because he asked Tyler to make sure he took them. He set up many human checkers, and then lived his life to the fullest! Kyle was Pragmatic.
• Karlie plays softball and one day Kyle tried to teach her some pitches, with his hands on her hands. Fide said, “What the heck! It looks like you two are holding hands!” and Kyle just smiled! Kyle was smooth!
• Fide said during football conditioning Kyle seemed to always have low blood sugars and have to stop, but in wrestling he never had low sugars. Kyle loved wrestling.
• Everyone could count on Kyle in a tough situation. Once, he was driving with Maya and several friends when her car overheated and they were stuck. In true Kyle form, he kept everyone loose and laughing until it was resolved. Kyle was a comic.
• One day, Kyle ditched Seminary with Brookie and they went to IHOP. Since it was during wrestling season, he ordered one egg and one piece of bacon. She ordered a huge plate of delicious waffles covered with big juicy strawberries and whipped cream. She could not finish them and offered them to Kyle. He declined and they started to leave. He hesitated, got that cute little grin, and said, “I can't let those go to waste” and ate them. Kyle was always hungry.
• Kyle would give me a big hug, sometimes lifting me off my feet. I'd say, “stop, you're gonna' get a hernia. Well, not sure if it was because of me but yep, in Wrestling Sectionals, he had a hernia, In spite of his hernia, He wrestled. In the final round, after several matches he wrestled a tall strong young man losing to him pretty quickly. After their match, I said “so sad about your hernia.” Kyle, not making any excuses or blaming the loss on his hernia said, "Oh grandma" he is so good. Kyle was an example of good sportsmanship.

On December 22, 2016 (at the young age of 18), Kyle used his invincible, tough attitude toward life and took time from his sports, his friends, and his family. He drove to the DMV and changed his license to become an organ donor. At his Great Grandfather's funeral a few days later, he proudly told Aunt Jen of this decision.

Who knew that in just 132 days, he would serve many with a better quality or extended life because of this selfless act?

Decisions Determine Destiny, Kyle's decision to love and care in life and in death for his fellow man, places him right up there, following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.

Christ said, “Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for another”. Kyle was always giving and thinking of others, not only in life, but in death as well. Donor Services told us upwards of 500 people will benefit from his selfless decision. Not only will his vital organs be an incredible benefit to those who receive them, but his healthy, strong, good tissue, veins, ligaments and much more will bless lives, for years to come.

Providing much joy to Kyle, his diabetic pancreas will be a benefit through research.

Sometimes in death, a person grows bigger than life. Kyle's actions were bigger than his life. His ability to love and care for others embodies the second great commandment. Love thy neighbor as thyself.

When we meet our Savior face to face, we will feel our own disappointment, IF we did not love as He asks us. I suspect Kyle will feel little disappointment, for he loved unconditionally, genuinely and completely!

Some of Kyle's friends gave us one word that best described him.

Listen….What if we added some of these characteristics to our lives?

Most of these last ones were said multiple times:

Strong

Brave

Sweetheart

Hero

Energetic

Joyful

Courageous

Confident (borderline cocky)

Jokester

Brotherly

Teaser

Tough

Loving

Caring

Forgiving

Genuine

Our world is turning more to vitriolic, harsh, hurtful interactions with great confusion, distractions and disruptions around. It is young people like Kyle, who shun those actions and abhor unkindness and hatefulness that can make a difference in our world.

Like Kyle, choose kindness, thoughtfulness and genuine caring for others.

I suggest we start a movement called “Kyle Therapy.” The movement actually started this last week at the candlelight vigil, at the car wash, at the garage sale and probably places I don't even know about. To apply the Kyle Therapy, think less about ourselves and more of others … listen, sit with someone new, give bear hugs, save a place for someone who is sad. Blow kisses, not only to Coach Miller, but to anyone who needs a lift. And when you are down and need a lift, apply the Kyle Therapy then too. Lift another. That warm, golden glow that accompanies service and selflessness has the power to melt away our own sorrows, anxiety, doubts, fears, and provide “happiness that lasts”! LONG LIVE THE KYLE THERAPY!!!